it's finally sunny in madrid again :)

Madrid, Spain
La Casa de Santibanez
El 14 de Febrero, 2008
2:53pm (7:53am Denton time)

Man. I just really really really really want a pizza right now. Can the first thing that I do when I get home, be that I get to eat pizza? Ok. Good. J thanks J

Madrid, Spain
La Casa de Santibanez
El 16 de Febrero, 2008
12:49pm (5:49am Denton time)

Bah. So I just finished looking at my finances again, and I’m a little disappointed in myself L I thought I was doing so well! I have my expenses and available funds broken into 3 months (jan 20^th thru feb 20^th, feb 20^th thru march 20^th, etc) and I broke it down as far as knowing exactly how much money I can spend every day to allow myself enough to last the whole trip. Of course I do have to have money when I get back, so I’m not including the money I’ll need when I get home, in my available funds that I’m working with… I’m a nerd. I love that stuff. Sue me. No don’t. I’m broke. Haha J

Anyways… so I thought I was doing so well this first month, but it turns out I’m already over my first month’s budget by 18 dollars. Dang! Of course I would be fine (and have money to spare, actually!) if it weren’t for that dang medical bill from that surgery that I thought I was already done paying on… oh well. J at least it’s only 18 dollars over. That’s easy to remedy. Just don’t spend any money for three days. Perfect! J it just means that I’m not going to be able to travel anywhere this weekend. We were going to go to Toledo tomorrow. Oh well. I’d rather miss THAT trip than miss Paris or Italy or one of those, so all is well… anyways. that was a really boring update, but that’s what’s going on right now J

Hope you’re enjoying your Saturday!!! J I love you! J

p.s. it’s difficult to carry on a conversation, even with someone you love and who is an ocean away from you, after you have been asleep for an hour and have taken Nyquil… I don’t recommend it… I’m sorry, Aaron! I tried my best to uphold my end of the conversation. I didn’t do very well, though, I don’t think… I’m sorry!!! It was kinda funny though because as I took the phone back downstairs when we hung up, I felt all floaty J haha. Weird!

blah day...

whoa! it is so cold out here on my little potted plant. yeesh! well, happy vday! :)

Madrid, Spain
La Casa de Santibanez
El 14 de Febrero, 2008
12:24pm (5:24am Denton time)

So…I’m pretty sure I just got chastised by Ani for trying to help…neat.

Every Thursday, Ani cleans my room/bathroom (like dusting, etc) and does my laundry… so today, I thought instead of just bringing down the laundry and leaving it in a pile on the kitchen floor (where the laundry machine is…weird), that I would go ahead and start it. It’s a very simple thing to do… so I did. I’m pretty sure she just told me (as she stopped outside my bedroom door on her way up to the floor above) that I’m not allowed to have more than one load of laundry…that I’m washing too many clothes… the ironic thing is that I hardly wash anything here because I detest the feeling of cardboard clothing on my skin, which is inevitably what happens any time I wash ANYthing here since it has to be line-dried… and is not usually even dry when she piles it outside my room for me to put away…so I end up having to put it back outside OR just hang everything on every surface around my room. I think I had like 4 shirts, underwear, and some socks to wash besides my sheets and towels… maybe that’s too much… whatever. I figured that maybe she just wanted me to put it all in one load, so I tried to tell her that it wouldn’t all fit, and she argued with me, telling me only ONE load… so…whatever. Maybe she doesn’t realize that it doesn’t get clean when you shove two loads of laundry into a little washer that is no bigger than a kitchen sink… UGH. Whatever. I’ll just have lots of dirty clothes for the next two months. Then, when I’m home I’ll do my own laundry as often as I freaking want to. And, God forbid, I may even do more than one load in a week! WHOA!!!

Sorry. That reeks of bitterness… L I don’t want to be bitter, I just wish people would use their common sense sometimes.

Also, meatballs and rice is not very good. Especially when the rice is dry and you haven’t ever liked meatballs to begin with… bah. I’m going to go read my bible and spend some time with the Lord. My attitude is crap right now. I need it adjusted. Sorry.

…oh… Happy Valentines Day, by the way… haha. Whoops? J

p.s. I finished my book last night (Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen) that Lindsey gave me when we left. It was fantastic and I really want to see the movie again, now. I wish I owned it… my roommate my freshman year of college had it and I think she watched it on a loop every single day that year. Haha. Now I can hardly remember anything about the movie except that the chick from Titanic was one of the main characters… J Today I’m starting on the Russian novel by Leo Tolstoy called Anna Karenina. Pretty pumped about that. Should be a good read. And it’s long enough! Jeez. Haha. Should keep me occupied for some good amount of time J

a little time in the cafe...

this is me with the one i love (hangin out on our one year anniversary this past fall):

and miss (this one's from a going away dinner for me and cait last month):


and this is me and my spanish damas looking all over Madrid for a restaraunt that we never found last week... but we found a cool train station! haha:

also this is me being ridiculous by la palacio royal:

ok... i have to pee... really badly...and probably shouldn't leave my computer unattended in a coffee shop...therefore, i bid you adieu. :)

realization...

um...i need a job when i get home... :/

so...anyone who knows of anything opening up around the beginning of april...let me know?

thanks :)

We went to Segovia on Saturday :)

Notice: i posted a video on facebook for lynn. you should check it out. :) haha

Madrid, Spain
La Casa de Santibanez
El 9 de Febrero, 2008
10:39pm (3:39pm Denton time)

Sometimes I hate it here. Not Spain, really. I really love Spain. Sometimes I just wish I were at home. Sometimes I whine too much. I’m sorry.
This woman apparently has CAMERAS here… Ani got in trouble for the girls being here last weekend one night when she and the kids were gone…after she TOLD ME IT WAS OK!!!! Are you kidding me???
They stayed here last night before we went to Segovia this morning, so I’m sure to hear something about this when they get home next week. Or if not, Ani is probably going to get in trouble. UGH. This woman… I’m sorry. But SERIOUSLY???
I’m done. I swear.
I wish I hadn’t told Aaron not to call me tonight since I may not have been here if we ended up going out. I’m here… and I don’t have any more minutes on my phone card so I cant call him… I have a headache. I think it’s from the knots in my back. I am not really sure what’s happening with my back/neck right now but I have so many knots in me… I have a HUGE knot that Katie tried to rub out a little bit last night, and couldn’t even believe how hard it was… it hurts so much. I can feel it (feels like stabbing in my shoulder blade) when I breathe if I don’t take shallow breaths. Every time I moved last night it would “stab” me again. I don’t know how to make it go away. Stretching isn’t helping L I’ve been on the verge of tears several times this evening, and I have no PMS to blame it on this time… seems silly, but please pray that these knots in my back just go away? Please?
Anyways, Segovia was awesome. We spent all day there and walked more than I think I have every walked in my life before. We took the train from Madrid to Segovia. It was only about a two hour ride each way. Not too bad, considering we only had to pay 10.70 euros for BOTH WAYS!!! That rules. First thing we did was walk down to see the Aqueduct. it was so awesome. here's a pic of it and a beautiful lamp post :)

and us... (oh, meet our new friend Erin. She's from Florida and just got here through the same organization about a week ago!)

After lunch we visited the castle that Ferdinand and Isabella ruled from. The very castle that Christopher Columbus went to in order to get permission to…find America pretty much… we stood in that very room on the very spot that he probably stood… that’s awesome. This same castle is also the castle that Walt Disney based Cinderella’s castle on! The famous Disney castle! I was there! Today! J it was so awesome.

we also got to see two really beautiful cathedrals while we were walking across the city... here's one of them from a distance:

With seeing all of these great old castle-like homes and all of the awesome stone architecture around Europe and also reading my fav. Jane Austen while having watched Pride and Prejudice AND Becoming Jane in the past three weeks, I want a house like that so badly J haha. Well, not a castle. Just castle-like. Haha. Smaller, of course, but with the same great stone work. I love stone. With comfortable, elegant rooms that have fireplaces (one of my fav things anyways) and lots and lots of great tapestries and rugs and old-looking furniture J that stuff makes me so happy J anyways. Great day, all together. Goodnight!

Madrid, Spain
La Casa de Santibanez
El 10 de Febrero, 2008
6:08pm (11:08am Denton time)

Wow. So I just realized that I have lived in Spain for exactly three weeks today… 21 days… that’s kind of a long time! Wow… I wonder how strange it is going to be, going home. I have a feeling it’s going to be like a chunk of my memory is gone. Kind of like amnesia for the three months that I am here… you know? Maybe that doesn’t make sense, but as far as life in denton, I mean…I think it will feel like that.

Oh… we were trying to start planning out our travel weekends yesterday and guess where we’re going for my birthday…

PARIS.

Oh yeah. Not even joking. I’m going to freaking PARIS for my “golden” birthday J that is so sweet (the “golden” birthday is when the age you are turning matches the number of the day your birthday is on… like mine is my 24^th because I turn 24 on March 24^th J)! I’m so excited about this…

Also we’re going to go to Barcelona either the first of second weekend of march, and we’re hoping to go to Italy maybe the last weekend in March J that would be so awesome. That way we could go to Rome, Venice, and Florence each for a day, I think! Or we’ll try to at least… I hope money holds up! I spent a good amount of my day today working on my budget again. Just making sure that I’m staying on schedule with that and all that good stuff.

Oh…speaking of money…Kelley emailed me this past week to let me know of ANOTHER medical bill that they are JUST NOW sending me from my surgery that happened back in SEPTEMBER! I thought I was completely done paying on that… so I’ve got less money than I thought… haha. Neat, right? Yeah… I’m just gonna stick to the “what I want for my birthday is money” plan. I think that will be the most realistic, eh? Yup. Thought so. Although, Lindsey and Aaron, you already know that I want you HERE as my birthday present so no backing out of that ;) haha.
Man I am SO excited for you guys to come
Oh, and Zari, I have to tell you that every single time I pass these awesome street-side florists I think of you J I miss you girlies! I miss homegroup. I’ll be excited to come back to that J
I get to talk to Aaron tonight, so that’s awesome J
I was out the door to head into Gran Via for a little bit today to look at some fabric shops that they have down there, but before I got to the bus stop (thankfully! Haha), I realized that it’s Sunday and everything’s probably closed… bummer. I wish I had some yarn or fabric to make stuff with while I’m here. That would be cool. That’s my goal this week is to get some of that stuff. I have such a drive to be creative right now, but I have no outlet for it. It’s frustrating. I wish I were an artist. I would have so many awesome drawings done by now… haha J
Oh, Aaron, you need to send me a pic of some of your “monster-guy” drawings bc I was telling the kids about him and how cute/funny he is when you draw him, but you know that I can’t draw him at all…so yeah. J also, I miss him! Haha
Ok. I’m done rambling for now.
Oh… I totally got scared earlier! I wanted to sit down and read some more of my book that Lindsey bought me, and I couldn’t find it ANYWHERE! I was mildly freaking out thinking of all of the places I could possibly have left it, and I was about to settle and come to terms with the idea that I had left in on the metro or the bus when I looked under the bed and saw it tucked under the corner! Yes! Man, I knew I’ve been so careful to make sure that I don’t ever leave anything behind, but with my history of losing stuff…everything?... it wouldn’t have surprised me if I did… I’m so glad that I didn’t though! It’s so much more than just a book when it’s got a personalized note written in it, you know? Especially when it’s from someone you love!
So…crisis averted. Good work, team!

some pics while i wait for katie's bus :)

here are a few more pictures for you. the first is of some sort of union protest or something! katie and i were walking around near Puerta del Sol (near school) when we heard all of these whistles and chanting behind us... we turn around and see a FLOOD of people carrying signs and blowing whistles and chanting something about "where's our money", so we assume it's a union? it was really funny because all of the people seemed to be older business people...not the usual protesters that i'm used to seeing... kinda cool, i guess! i have a video of it too. i'll see if that will upload. last time i tried a video it didnt work though... so. yeah.


second pic is of a "walk thru" mcdonalds! there are several of these in madrid! instead of drive-thrus they have windows that you walk up to for "express service". i think its awesome. how many people have i heard stories from who tried to walk thru a drive thru when it's the only thing open so late at night... they always get turned away! Josh, didnt you guys try that since the tour bus was too big for the window?? anyways. i think the walk up idea is funny :)

let the travels begin!

Madrid, Spain

La Casa de Santibanez

El 7 de Febrero, 2008

11:03pm (4:03pm Denton time)

Ok…so new things as of today…

1. I’m listening to the new Jack Johnson cd that just came out this week. Great “home” music J

2. my baby bangs are becoming less and less terrible with every passing day… J haha I’m really glad I brought my shears to help with the development of them as they progress…

3. the family is leaving tomorrow at 8am for Las Vegas. A part of me looks forward to a week of “freedom”. Basically a week of not having to teach, but at the same time I’m totally going to miss them. We finished “Transformers” tonight. I can’t remember what I write here and what I don’t… but just in case, I’ve been letting the kids watch a little bit of transformers every night before bed this week. They love it. The next film they want to watch together is “Ratatouille”. So that will start up when they get home next week.

4. I haven’t seen Caitlin since Saturday since she’s been sick this week. That’s been really weird. Hopefully we see her tomorrow!

5. I think I get to get my pillow from caitlin’s mom this or next weekend! YES! My life is going to be eight million times better. I can’t wait J I’m so happy! Haha

6. Aaron and Lindsey are, Lord willing, coming to visit the Wednesday before spring break for a week. I seriously cannot wait for that. I’m so excited for them to be here. 34 days? I feel like every time I count the days on the calendar that it comes out to be a bigger number. I am kind of confused… haha.

7. I am not happy with my hair right now… I want a new hairdo overhaul… that’s totally not an interesting thing to put in here, but I was just looking at a pic of me and Aaron and his sis from some months ago, and I want my hair like that again. Haha. I’ll wait to do anything drastic for a while… at least until my bangs catch back up to normality? Haha.

8. I’ve decided to do individual Spanish study. I decided that I was learning more when I was studying/teaching myself at home than when I was in the class, and since I haven’t paid yet, I just decided to stop going. I’m learning a lot still though. So it’s good. I have a lot of time to study this week with the kids gone J

9. Ani (the maid) and I got to talk the other day for a bit and she told me that my Spanish has gotten a lot better since I got here! J she seemed really impressed J so that was really encouraging! Also I wrote her a note this morning and she brought it to me amazed that I wrote it! Haha. It’s so encouraging for her to be impressed with my seriously lacking Spanish skills J makes me want to know more. I’m glad she’s here. Also I’m glad she’ll still be here this week. She’s not leaving with the family. So that’s good. At least I’m not all alone at the house this week. J

10. I got a letter from Katie today in the mail! It was the highlight of my day J I forgot how fun getting mail is. And it’s even better when it’s from across the ocean J thanks, Katie! Love you!

Ok I’m going to bed now. I just realized that I hadn’t updated in a few days. I’ve been writing individual emails with people and just kept forgetting to update here since it felt like I had already told everything… J

I love you,

Denise.

p.s. reminder for you attached (dating OR married) J boys reading this… get your thinking caps going. Valentines day is coming up! Get ready to “wow” your ladies! Tell ‘em how special they are to you! It doesn’t take a lot (or sometimes any…) money, so don’t even use that as an excuse. It’s lame and you know it. ;)

Even though it’s a ridiculously over-commercialized holiday that doesn’t mean you can’t use it as another excuse to lavish her with love and adoration… J haha.

Consider this your encouragement and reminder in one.

And… GO! J

Madrid, Spain

Juan Valdez Café

El 8 de Febrero, 2008

7:36pm (12:36pm Denton time)

Ok I’m not going to lie, this is getting kind of ridiculous… the internet connection here is TERRIBLE!!! I just came in and spent 3 euros on a drink at this coffee shop so that I could sit enjoyably for a few hours and use some internet only to find out that the internet is broken… wonderful… so I guess I’ll just go back home and sit on my potted plant and hope that it doesn’t kick me off like it usually does… it’s so frustrating. It’s my only way of communication with home and I’m denied it so often. L I know it could be worse, but it’s still terribly frustrating. I just wish I could find ONE reliable way to communicate with you people who are so far away!

Anyways. cool thing, Cait, Katie and I are taking a bus to Segovia tomorrow morning for a day trip. It’s one of the places in spain that we wanted to be sure and visit, so that’s cool. And when Katie and I went to find out info on the busses today, we found out that it’s only going to be like 15 euros round trip! HOLLA! J that’s pretty awesome.

Ha….getting that information, however, was a totally different story. I think we rode the metro for about an hour or two just trying to get to a station that would give us information on getting to Segovia. Every place we went, they told us to go to another station (each one just having to be on the exact opposite side of Madrid than we are at that moment…) BAH! So frustrating! Haha. But anyways. I think we’re all going to stay at my house tonight and leave in the morning for the bus station. I’ll definitely let you know how that all goes! J Wish us luck! J

A toast: “A Segovia!” J

Also, Lindsey, this is a picture of me reading the awesome book you got me just before we left. i LOVE it. i can't put it down...well, i do...but only because i have to do stuff... so i only read it on the bus and metro. :) and a little at home... haha

i finally remembered to take a few pics of the kiddos! we have been watching 10-30 minutes of Transformers together every night just before they go to sleep. Eduardo LOVES it! haha. it's so great. this night, we watched a little of the movie and i taught them how to play "Phase 10". it was really fun. things are definitely turning around. i hope it stays that way.


this is a video of us in the courtyard of La Palacio Royal. I think Maria was telling us that it is where the Prince and Princess were married. around the left side of it. the video is from the courtyard. it's right in front of it. :) it's so pretty there! this was our "touristy" day. it was fun. Maria showed us a lot. then we all got lost in a new part of town... haha :) it's fun just walking around trying to find any trace of a metro so that you can get somewhere familiar :)

the family is going to Las Vegas for a week. they leave on friday morning... so it'll just be me and ani. that is going to be so cool :) she's awesome.

shoot... also, the cell phones here are so weird! they have a PIN number for each phone and every time you turn off your phone, when you turn it back on you have to enter your PIN. i learned yesterday that if you enter it incorrectly three times, you have to take it in to an actual Vodafone STORE to get it "unlocked"... so i have been without a phone since my phone decided to randomly turn off on the bus yesterday after i called to check on cait...
she's doing a little better, by the way. at least she's not still throwing up. she was thinking that they were going to still make her cook for the kids and i'm not sure if that means teach too... yesterday, so pray that they go easy on her!!!
love you guys!
p.s. i love getting your emails. i'm pretty sure that i have the coolest, most hilarious friends on the planet. i love when i laugh out loud in a coffee shop or while sitting on my potted plant (OH!!! did i tell you that story?? the only place near our house that gets WIFI reception is this potted plant by the road. so i sit on the side of the pot and hold my computer sometimes... it's really cold when i do that... but it's funny at least :)
this is the one, just so that you can get a visual...haha :)


hope you're having a great wednesday!!! HUMP DAY! HOLLA!!

p.p.s. just so that you know... this video is taking forever and a day to upload!!! jeez!!! i dont think it's going to work before i have to go... i'll have to try again next time. dang.

it's been a few days... sorry.

Madrid, Spain

La Casa de Santibanez
El 4 de Febrero, 2008
7:11pm (12:11pm Denton time)

I’ve got about 45 minutes between teaching Eduardo and dinnertime before teaching veronica tonight. I’m studying a bit and thought I’d blog for a moment as well…

Please pray for Caitlin. She is very ill right now. She was throwing up all last night. I think she got whatever it is from her mom since that same thing was happening to her mother when she was here. Caitlin spent quite some time in the hotel with her… whoops… pray for a quick recovery and for comfort there in her home.

Spanish class was terrible today. I’ve decided that I’m going to try a lower level class tomorrow. I didn’t understand half of what the teacher was saying and her explanations, in Spanish, were pointless because I obviously don’t speak Spanish so it was just plain frustrating…. I know that them only speaking Spanish is helpful for our ears, but I’m thinking that course level is just a little too high for me… so I’m moving down. I hope tomorrow is better… I’m studying a lot of the book and workbook tonight starting at the very beginning so hopefully that helps a little bit. I just need to be really diligent in studying and have a good attitude going in to the class. I can do this… I can…right? I mean surely I can… I made an A in Spanish IV only two years ago… ugh. 2 years ago. Crap… haha. I forget so quickly… bah.

I think it would be really cool to keep going to Spanish classes when I get back to the states. I know I can’t afford it, but I would really like it… if I’m spending so much time and effort to learn this I don’t want it to just go to waste as soon as I get home and other than that I don’t really have any way of practicing…also I would just like to get better. I’d like to be pretty proficient in another language if I ever have kids. I’d love for my kids to be able to speak more than one language. I think Spanish is a great language to learn. Especially us being to close to mexico! J

Michelle, my teacher at the academy reminds me of you. She looks a lot like you. She’s so cute J

Ok. So I think that things are getting better at the house… last night teaching went really well. I really didn’t feel like I was pulling teeth the whole time. Haha. And tonight was not bad with Eduardo. It wasn’t the easiest night, but it wasn’t bad once we got started. I think things are getting better with Paloma, too. I’ve decided that I just need to be more assertive with her and stop being so quiet around her. I’m just going to push my way into their lives and make them like me ;) haha. Well, try to anyways. in my experience, the more you know about someone and the more they become a part of your everyday life, the more you grow to love them…no? Well, we’ll just hope this to be true here in this house. I’m at least making myself more available for these opportunities. Not quite so much time outside the house. I’m not going to hole up inside here, but it’s been so cold and damp out lately that it’s just plain miserable, so I’d rather be inside anyways… Besides a massive amount of the glorious gift of cramps… yeah. Nice. Everything points to being here. So her I remain… J

I worked out my inner thighs last night. I can’t remember the word for that muscle… you work it out with that machine that you can switch to do the outer and inner muscles…dang it! What is the name of that muscle! Kelley! Help! Anyways… I’m sore… haha. Good story. Aaron, you know you miss those good stories. Don’t lie.

Ok. I’ve got to study more. Bah. Good “bah” though. Don’t get me wrong… this learning another language and trying to be proficient at it is tough stuff… it’s different when you’re just taking the class for a grade… there’s a lot more pressure when you’re really trying to learn in order to understand the people around you (like when they make announcements in the metro station telling you that your train in not coming… I didn’t know what they were saying! Ah!). getting there…

Peace!

-d

p.s. Also: kind of random, but I want to share a quote from something I read from a friend of mine recently. It’s one of the most blunt, beautiful statements I’ve read in a long time. She spoke of her final decision to make sure that she does her part to bring a stop to anything that encourages actions less than pure between a man and woman who are trying to live a physically pure life in the midst of our human, sinful, fleshly desires. Absolutely beautiful. Hopefully you see it the same way.

“I am a princess of the King. I will not be another dirty confession from [any] man's lips.”

Amen.

a God-sized smack in the cabeza...

Madrid, Spain

La Casa de Santibanez

El 2 de Febrero, 2008

7:07pm (12:07pm Denton time)

Ok so I must first apologize for my little Culture Shock outburst. I really am sorry you had to read all about that… I’m doing better now. God smacked me in the head a few times this week (that’s right, Lindsey. Still usin’ it J)

So… this whole post is basically just telling you all of the ways God totally made me feel like a selfish, spoiled idiot this week.

So since I’ve been here in spain, I’ve finished Genesis and gone through a bit of Exodus. The stories that I’ve gone through were Joshua and also the Israelites in Egypt and the plagues…

So, let’s break this down a bit:

• Joshua: sold into slavery by his OWN BROTHERS, taken to a foreign land, separated from everything that he knew and loved… with absolutely no hope of return or even of safety or life…
• Israelites in Egypt: Slaves to a horrible pharaoh who made their lives a living Hell more and more as they (through Moses and Aaron) did EXACTLY as God was telling them to do… doesn’t makes sense, and yet we know that the ending of this story is that God blesses them immensely after they had to experience torture and terrible times even though they did nothing wrong. These things had to be endured by them in order for them to experience and understand the immeasurable power and control of God who was in complete control of the entirety of the situations the whole time… Even when they didn’t see anything good happening…
• Chinese man on CNN the other night (these next two are not from the bible…obviously J): He is forced to live ONE THOUSAND miles away from his 24 yr old wife (who also has to live in a far away town from their home) and his 4 year old son. Their son is raised by grandparent’s since both of his parents are forced to go so far away for work. They get to see their son and be together as a family once a year at the Chinese New Year (which so many Chinese people have not been able to get home for because of the freak snow/ice storms taking out the roads/trains in China lately). He was interviewed and explained that in his life, he is forced to basically suck it up when he is lonely or sad or troubled. He has no one to talk to but himself. He said that if he could only speak with his wife, then he would be able to talk things out and would be a lot better, but he’s not able to see her until the new year. That is so terrible that my heart breaks for that family. Literally. I cannot imagine. Not even where I am right now. I am at least able to go home if I needed/wanted to… you know?
• US (well not just US, I suppose!) troops that are out in some foreign land (as my grandfather reminded me). These troops who have been shipped out by the military/government with no hope of returning home any time soon (if they even have a date to go home) unless it is as a casualty…

I’m a spoiled brat whining about conditions that would be more than some peoples wildest dreams… who the heck do I think I am?? Really…

So anyways. I’m sorry that I’m such a spoiled brat. I’m really trying to love this family. It is so hard sometimes. I really find myself wanting to be gone or hide in my Cinderella-room (J) just to get away from the awkwardness of being around Paloma since she never talks to me and gives me shortest possible answers anytime I try to start conversations or just makes me feel stupid… about things I’m not ignorant about.

Regardless… I am in this house for a reason. Even though it is not the ideal family life that I wanted to be a part of, that doesn’t mean that God didn’t put me here for a reason.

AND at the same time, as frustrating as this situation is sometimes, I could have it so much worse… I really could. I have a pretty sweet setup here.

Praying for patience, warmth within this house, less awkward/forced interactions with the family (mainly Paloma)… thank you so much for all of your prayers. I love you all so very much, and appreciate you more than you know. J

Love,denise.

p.s. school started on Friday and it’s going to be extremely challenging. The professor speaks solamente espanol… only Spanish. Not even explanations are in English and she doesn’t speak slowly… it’s frustrating for us. It is good, but extremely frustrating. Please pray that learning happens quickly and solidly. I’m ready to be at the point where I can eavesdrop on people’s conversations on the metro/bus J haha. I know that sounds terrible, but I’d really just like to know what people are talking about!!! Haha J

p.p.s. also, we’re going to dinner tonight at some really cool dive-place in Madrid that should be pretty cool. OH! We went out and experienced just a little taste of Madrid’s nightlife last night! Not much because we were exhausted pretty quickly and a lot of Marie’s (the girl we went out with) friends are still in the middle of their finals weeks (yeah. weeks! They have 3-4 WEEKS of finals here! Yikes!) so everyone is still studying right now. When they’re done we’ll go out with everyone and I’m sure that will be really fun.

Ridiculous part: one drink in Madrid costs an average of NINE EUROS!!!! That’s like FIFTEEN freaking dollars!!! Are you kidding me??? I like water. Haha. I will not pay that much for one drink. I might get ONE sometime when we go out. But seriously. I’m fine with water. Yeesh. HA.

Ok I’ve gotta run to meet the girls for dinner in Sol! J toodles!

I LOVE YOU!

Madrid, Spain

La Casa de Santibanez

El 3 de Febrero, 2008

2:09pm (7:09am Denton time)

Ok. So my latest dilemma has been whether to stay in this house or switch families… Caitlin, Katie, and their families are all encouraging me to switch. There is a family that lives on floor below Katie that is looking for someone, but no one is applying to the program at this time, so they don’t have a tutor. They are good friends with the family that Katie lives with and I met one of the little girls yesterday. She is ADORABLE! They want me to switch to go to that house… haha. I probably would, but at the same time, the thing holding me back from looking into that is that I don’t want to just quit here if this is the place where God wants me… you know?

Yesterday I was constantly praying about whether to look into switching or not, as I was pretty much ignored by everyone in the house unless I spoke directly to them and I would get those short answers before they would go back to watching tv or doing whatever they were doing (kids and paloma…), so most of the time that I was home yesterday I just stayed in my room… most of the time that I’m here I just stay in my room because the rest of the house is FREEZING cold. Well, and I guess that’s good because, as I learned the other day, I’m not supposed to sit on the couch! So I guess I’d have to sit at the dining room table or something. Haha J

Anyways. so I was praying the whole day to try and figure out if I should or should not look into switching houses… my thoughts went to two options:

1. God could have me at this house to teach me patience or to show love to the kids or other things that I don’t even know right now…but regardless, He could have me right where I’m supposed to be, and He could WANT me to be here… if He does, then I definitely don’t want to pull a Jonah and run away from Nineveh… you know? Well, maybe that’s a terrible comparison but you get what I’m trying to say I hope.

Or…

2. God could have put me here in order to get me to buck up and do something about it since I am definitely NOT a confrontational person, and since I’m such a push-over, people-pleaser…. So he COULD have put me here, just to teach me to make things happen…

See? So how do I know which it is???

I’m going to keep praying. I’m not doing anything unless I hear very clearly from Him that I should go somewhere else… I think that’s probably the safest bet… I hope it is, at least. I just want to do what I’m supposed to and be where I’m supposed to, you know?

Anyways, so if you want to, I would definitely appreciate any and all prayers about this. A lot of you are asking for specific prayer requests… well, here’s one! A biggie! J

So today I was going to go into the city and just probably go to that internet café, but I think that I’m going to just hang around the house and look for opportunities to nudge my foot in the door with the fam… it’s tough to find opportunities for it since there are no meals together or anything… so I’m really not sure what it’s going to look like, but I’m praying for opportunities. I just want them to see me as a part of the family instead of just a tutor that lives in the room upstairs that they have to see for a few hours every day, and then can just avoid the rest of the time… I’m not sure if that’s what God has planned, but that’s what I’d like to see happen…

Anyways. basically I’m just saying that I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing, but I’m searching for clarity and I’m asking for answers and I’m looking for opportunities to get further into the lives of this family that I live with and really don’t know very well other than what is extremely surface level…

Pray with me?

Thanks, you guys. I love you dearly and I’m looking forward to getting home and hangin with you again in a few months J

Love, denisie

p.s. so meeting the girls for dinner last night was an adventure, by the way. Caitlin’s mom was in town on a flight assignment which was really cool! I’m so glad she got to hang with her mom! She’s been looking forward to it so much! Anyways, so we were all going to meet up for dinner, but her mom was sick, so the three of us were just going to go to this place that her mom suggested, but we met up outside the metro and searched and walked and walked and walked and never found it… haha

BUT I think that we found the train station that has a forest or something inside of it! We’re going to go back sometime during the day to see if that’s what it was J haha but the building was so cool. We took pictures in front of it. I’ll take better pics in the daytime so that you can see the whole thing.

Oh, also we were SO touristy on Friday. It was funny. Marie took us around and showed us this really cool cathedral and La Palacio Royal. It was so beautiful. Some of it was under construction, so it blocked the awesome view of the city from the hill, but it was ok. I took a video from the courtyard of the palace and I’m going to try to figure out how to post that for you J then you can “meet” Marie! Haha

And Katie and I saw La Plaza Mayor on accident when we went to the wrong place to meet up with Marie for lunch! Haha J so that was pretty cool. There are murals painted all on one part of the building. The whole thing is so beautiful. And larger than life, for real. Whoa.

Ok. Going down for lunch! J love.

Also, can I just say that I love these girls that are here in spain with me. It is so nice to have friends to pray with and a solid support group here. I’m so thankful for that. OH… that reminds me. I want to make a list of the things I’m so thankful to have here… most of it will seem silly but just incase you travel to another country maybe it’ll be helpful for you to have a list of “must-haves” haha J

It was bound to happen eventually...

i'm good today. really. i just have to preface this post from last night. haha :) i'm sure i'll be frustrated again when i get back to the house, but it's ok. today was awesome. we had coffee with Tep today and it was rad. we sat in the coffee shop for 3 HOURS! haha. sweet times. school starts tomorrow!!!! YEEE! :) i'm not sure what that means...but. yeah. :)

Madrid, Spain

La Casa de Santibanez

El 30 de Enero, 2008

11:32pm (4:32pm Denton time)

ok so I think I just experienced my emotional semi-breakdown. I’m not sure it’ll be the last. Or maybe that wasn’t even it? I don’t know. I think I’m just really hating being here alone. I mean, I’m not really here alone. Cait and Katie are here, but at the same time… most of the people who I love the most, and who love me the most, are nowhere near me. I can try to call (when it works?) or email or instant message (when I can find internet connection)…but that is so random and far between… and when I do, the time difference is so off that it’s seriously inconvenient for you guys…

I miss Aaron a lot. I just called him, but he was in class. Sorry about that, again, by the way, Aaron…

As soon as I heard his voice I started crying for some reason. I was trying not to let him know that I was (how did I do? Haha) because I knew he was in the middle of class and he needed to go. But as soon as we hung up, I started bawling. I can’t really stop now. There’s no way I’d be able to get through a conversation with my mom or dad… jeez. I’m ridiculous.

I’m just so sick of being here in this house, I think. It’s so harsh. There’s almost no loving interaction. Or at least of what I see. She’s always yelling or harping on the kids, and she never even really talks to me unless its to tell me how to do/clean/eat something… other than that I’m just like a machine that goes in and teaches her kids. And even then, it’s my fault if they don’t do well, even if it’s because her little boy is burnt out by the time he gets to me so he can’t/won’t focus on anything I try to tell/teach him…

Maybe that’s why God has me here, but at the same time, I think I’m just so used to living in such a love-filled environment (my home, so many awesome friends around, my church, my family, etc.) that this is absolutely killing me. I’m alone most of the day and night, and the time that I am interacting with other people, it is so high-stressed and irritating that I can’t wait to be alone again.

I just really miss Aaron.

I just wish that he was here.

I’m thinking that I’ll probably not stay for the full three months. The initial reason is money. It’s costing a lot more just to live than I expected. But this doesn’t setting isn’t really encouraging me to search high and low for ways to stay, you know?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love being in spain. I seriously love it. I just don’t know how much longer I can be in this house and away from the people that I love. I feel like a kid counting the days until I move away to college… only I graduated from that a year ago…

I don’t know. Please keep me in your prayers. I just need to get over myself… I’m sorry for the rant. When school starts, maybe it will distract me more. I’ll have more to do with my time. Sorry, again.

Goodnight (well, for me. Happy Dinnertime for you)…

Love,denisie

ok. just a few more important photos to upload right now before i have to get headed home for tutoring... :)

also, i know a few of you have been asking for my address while i'm here in spain. i put it in a "note" on facebook if you want that. if you dont have facebook, just email me and i can send it to you! :)

love you guys and miss you all terribly. i'm so blessed to have such awesome friends and family even from an ocean away!!!! seriously. i'm praying for you all constantly and i'm so blessed by each of you. i hope that you are aware of that :)

Mucho Amore,
Denisie

This is the day that the girls hung came over for our slumber party! Haha those pictures are ridiculous…i'll post sometime soon. but these pictures are for our dear ones who aren’t here with us at the moment…

Miss Lindsey, the third of we three…

(oh, p.s. random fact… baby bangs …see above, haha… are so in here in spain! EVERYONE has them! Its so funny! Also there is an unreal number of guys with the most terrible mullets I’ve ever seen in my life. No joke. Oh jeez…. Yeah.)

And next two are for the one and only, our personal favorite… Leanne Hotface Mcgee (don’t worry, you won’t get the pictures. It’s apparently an inside joke between them…J):

leftovers from last post.

i think it was telling me something like i had too many picture up on one post? i dont really know since it was in spanish... haha. anyways. here are a few more from the last picture post:

this is the view from my balcony. the metal thing is the walking bridge that i walk on to get to the bus stop every morning. :)

this is the view straight down from my balcony. that's our "backyard"?

this is the view from my balcony at night. well, really early morning, i guess. i took this that first night when i woke up at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep until about 7:45am. haha :)

Picture update numero dos! Our first week in Madrid:

Here are some more pictures for you! Enjoy!

Check out my HUGE bed! it's actually two twin mattresses put together on one bed frame. that's like a queen bed, right? something like that... anyways. it looks so comfy!!! (tricky little buggar. that's not at all the case. ha!)
also, i dont know if they could have picked a better decor for the room (the entire house actually). i LOVE it. if i were going to decorate it, i would totally be using the same furniture and stuff! :) love it.

that's my desk with a great view. the window/door to the little balcony/terrace thing is right in front of my desk. pic of that in a second... (the doorway to the right of the desk goes into the bathroom.

there's my ol' bano! double sinks for little ol' me! i need a friend to share with ;)

faceoff! my toilet and bede... i dont know that i will try it. part of me wants to just to say that i used a bede. i am, after all, living in europe... but still. that just weirds me out. spraying water on my butt?? no thank you... i take showers for that... you know??

no central heat. radiators in every room that they hang their towels and stuff on! dont they know that those things catch on fire?! i dont let mine touch. the thought of my room burning makes me a bit uneasy... i dunno why...
this is my tv stand/dresser that i'm not allowed to use because it has paloma's stuff in it. haha.
also the closet is full of her stuff too. i have about 4 little drawers and a little spot in the huge closet space in the room for my stuff. haha.

this is the view from bed. check out the freaking light fixture! i love it :) i think it's even prettier in person. these pictures make it look kinda dull...
ok. now i'm going to try and let you get a feel for the house (townhouse?) picture, if you will, about 7 stories that are kind of staggered. so kind of 7 Half-stories? i dont really know how to explain it. but here are some pictures taken from each landing of the stairwell that goes on for days... haha. the first one is from my floor, right outside my door looking down the staircase towards the children's floor. i forgot to take pics of above my floor, but there are two more landings above my room. one is the room entrance and the next higher one is the "play room" which is pretty much just used for when their tutors come over. they study up there.

this is a view from where the last picture ended. turn that corner on the stairs, and you get the children's rooms and bathroom.

then i turned to the right and took this picture from children's floor which looks down to Paloma's room/floor (the mom).

this shot is from paloma's floor. just turning the corner from the last picture.

turn the corner at the end of the last photo, and you are looking towards the dining room with the kitchen on your left. the dining room has not been used since i've been here... maybe they use it sometimes when their dad is home? we'll see. he comes back in a month or two? eh.

this is the tiniest kitchen. seriously. the chairs are kept hanging on the wall when the kids are not eating. otherwise you can't get around the table... TINY!!! there's a little stool that i sit on. As you can see, there is never "family dinner". Very rarely are even the three of us in there at the same time. it's usually just me and one child at a time. studying while they scarf down some food before they go back to studying more...

this is where they hang the chairs that the children use. my stool is kept just below the hanging chairs.

this is the very rarely (if ever?) used dining room.